First of all… I have one obvious question.
Were you social media stalking your ex??
If you were, it’s okay… everyone does it. Just be careful because it can become a habit and that will only make things MORE difficult if you keep it up.
Regardless of how you came to figure it out, you look at your ex now and you see a 10 standing in her place and you wonder,
“When in the heck did that happen?”
Trust me, I know the feeling. You see her and suddenly all of your faults and shortcomings feel like they are huge. My friends and I call this the “Losing the Breakup” feeling. I’m assuming that if you are old enough to have a relationship, that you have at least lost at something before… maybe basketball, football… monopoly.
Whatever, it was that you lost at, remember that feeling…
It’s pretty similar to the way you felt when you looked at your ex and saw how good she is doing… right?
Why Do You Feel Your Ex Girlfriend is Hotter?
Well, no one likes to feel like they’re losing anything. But feeling this way doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t doing good! It means that she is doing better than you expected her to.
We all want to feel like we make an impact on the people around us.
And even after a breakup you expect there to naturally be a certain level of devastation. She’s supposed to have trouble moving on.
And I’m betting that the fact that she looks good is making you think that life is pretty good for her right now.
You know what makes a woman lose weight?
There are two ways that most women deal with the stress of a breakup…
Some women deal with the stress of a breakup by “eating their feelings.” However, this is almost always temporary and only lasts a few months. The thing is that YOU though she would miss you forever…. right?
Other women take a a short time like this to mourn and jumps into “go-mode,” the “if I don’t do something positive I’ll go crazy” mode. That means working out, making a plan, and moving forward.
That’s what it takes to get to a point where you can look amazing, confident, and looking like your life is put together. It takes getting through that period of feeling like crap. Or, you do what the rest of them do…. fake it till you make it.
So let’s go over this again.
Your ex looks awesome.
She’s either still dealing with the hurt and hiding it well.
Or… she’s in “go mode” and is kicking life’s butt.
or… she’s “faking it till she makes it”
And… you absolutely hate it.
I completely understand why you feel that way.
So, What Do You Do Now With Her Out There Looking Good?!
What’s the first thing that a kid asks after he falls down or hurts himself?
“Make it stop.”
“Fix it please.”
I get it. Nobody likes being hurt.
So, let’s talk about getting you over it.
Have you ever heard the saying,
“The best revenge is a well lived life.”
Well, the best thing you can do to get past the fact that your ex is giving off some “I’ve got my stuff together” vibes is to get your own stuff together.
LIVE YOUR LIFE WELL!!!
I know. I sound like one of those positivity guru people, but if you want this hurt feeling to pass, you have to get a good understanding of what it is that makes you feel this way.
Here… I’ll paint you a picture. Or I suppose… draw you a graph…
The “potential” is not just regarding what you would normally consider success, you know, kicking butt at work or getting in shape. It also means the potential to move on.
On the left the two of you would be on equal ground. On the right, you would be slightly if not more successful than your ex.
Either way, up until now, you have assumed that you are in one of these positions.
Seeing your exgirlfriend looking like a ten or a twelve can really bring home the possibility that she might actually be doing better than you are. And that is scary as heck.